Me too

“Me too.”

I believe these are incredibly powerful words. These words connect us to other people. They build bridges, communicate love and support. These words demonstrate empathy and bring us together. When I think about it, the people I have to most “me too’s” with are the people I am closest to in this world. Our shared experiences, our commonalities, draw us together and hold us together. “Me too’s” are important.

When someone is struggling, the words “me too” help others to see that they are not alone. When we say it, we’re saying that we are with them, that we understand, that we care and can see why they’d feel the way they do. Even if we have never been in their situation, we can almost always try to put on their shoes and say, “Me too. I understand why you’d feel that way.” We may not ever be able to imagine HOW it feels, but we can seek to understand WHY they’d feel that way. Either way, “Me too.” is powerful. Sometimes (I’m thinking about grief in particular) we don’t even need to say “me too.” Our presence alone communicates it.

When someone is celebrating, a “me too” celebrates too. It strengthens our relationship. When I was a youth minister, it became more and more clear that one of the best things I could do for a student was to show up at a game they were playing or a concert where they were performing. Those experiences, “being with” them became “me too’s” between us and helped draw us closer to one another.

Romans 12:15 – “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.”

My hope is that I can become more aware of the moments I have. I want to say “me too” more often. I also want to live in a way that creates more “me too’s.” Of course I can’t be at everything I’d like, but I plan to be more intentional about “being with” people. My prayer is that you guys can all join me and say, “Yeah, me too.”

The Bridge

Over the years, the valley had grown wider. All the storms (big and small) compounded and made it tough to traverse so . . . we built a bridge.

I had a great Spring Break! Miranda, Kasen, Kesleigh, and I spent the week in Livingston with our good friends (we consider them family) the Godbolds. We also got to spend time with the Bowles, Leitschuhs, and Dale Googer’s. It was incredible! We spent the week as bridge builders.

We built a bridge over a little creek on the property, but there were also other bridges built. Since the time we moved away from Tomball, we have felt separated from our friends, but bridges were built. I watched my children meet new friends and learn new things – bridges were built.

Bridges were built with discussions around the fire. They were built as we reminisced. They were built as we shared stories and laughed. More bridges were built as we sang old songs and even as we reflected in the silence.

Livingston – this place – the people it represents – the memories – all of it reminds me of who I am and challenges me to remember who I want to become. This is a bridge. Livingston is a bridge between my past and my future. I’m grateful for this bridge – for this place – for my friends – for my God.

The years had worn on them – torn the banks.

We built a bridge.

Livingston is a bridge.

I want my life to be a bridge.

The Ditch

My brother and I. I'm in blue w/plaid pants.

I lived in Enid, Oklahoma when I was in elementary school. It was the 70s and I wore plaid pants. (My mom dressed me.) I walked a few blocks each day to Hayes Elementary School and played in “the ditch.” If there was a movie like “The Sandlot” about my childhood, it’d be called, “The Ditch” ’cause some of my greatest memories from those days (K-6th grade) are from of the things we did there. Here’s a list of those memories:

Rock fights – There was a section of the ditch that was full of rocks. W used to build “forts” with them and then throw rocks at each other. I never said we were smart. (My brother got stitches in his lip once as a result.)

Sledding – When the ditch filled with snow, it was perfect for sledding.

Bobsled rides – In the place where the drain pipes (from under the streets) entered the ditch there were concrete sections which would fill with snow. We carved paths through these sections to make our own bobsled runs.

Wind & Frostbite- Sledding in the ditch is the first place I ever got the wind knocked out of me. I hit a bump with my sled and lost it. I also remember falling through the ice at the bottom once. It was only a foot deep, but my whole body was frozen. (OK – not really, but I can still remember the “heat” of the cold water in the bathtub when I got home.)

Cardboard Rides – When the grass grew tall enough in the summer, cardboard worked as well as a sled.

TG&Y – Mom wouldn’t let us walk most places, but when were got old enough, she allowed us to walk the trail by the ditch to go to TG&Y (like a dollar store today) to get Star Wars Cards and candy. I actually still have a full set of Star Wars cards. (I need to put ’em on ebay to see what I can get.) The trip to TG&Y was a huge adventure to us – sort of like the journey in the movie “Stand By Me.”

Crawdads – In the summer, we caught crawdads in the little creek at the bottom of the ditch.

Tunnels – From the ditch, we entered and crawled through the drain tunnels which ran under the streets of our neighborhood. It was our way of facing our fears – like exploring the caves in “The Goonies.”

Hayes Elementary School

Some other memories that weren’t in the ditch:

We had rubberband gun fights in the cul-de-sac where we lived. We jumped the back fence to go play with Jeff & John Schlarb. Zhan Stephens also lived behind us and he had a pool in his backyard. I remember how great our neighborhood was for getting candy on Halloween. I had a fishing birthday party at Meadowlake Park and took golf lessons in the summer. My dad helped coach little league football and t-ball. We also played basketball at the YMCA and went swimming there in the summer. I always bought “Hot Fries” in the vending machine at the Y. (Strange what we remember huh?)

The Love Bridge

Capilano Canyon Susension Bridge

Here’s another cool psychology experiment I read about in “Sway” by Ori and Rom Brafman:

The Love Bridge:

Capilano Canyon (near Vancouver, Canada) can be crossed on a rope suspension bridge (built in 1889) which spans 450 feet at 230 feet above the surface of the ground. There is also a solid wood bridge 10 feet off the ground further down the canyon.

The suspension bridge sways underneath your feet when strong winds blow through, but unsuspecting hikers were also swayed by it’s power.

For the experiment, a female research assistant was told to approach men (one at a time) between the ages of 18-35 as they stepped off the end of each bridge. She was supposed to follow a scripted story with each man. She was to tell them that she was a psychology student conducting a study on the affects of exposure to scenic attractions on creative expression. She would then ask each man to fill out a short survey. When he finished, she would offer to tell him about the study later when they had a bit more time. She was then instructed to tear off a corner of the survey paper, write down her name/phone number and hand it to them. Most of the men happily accepted the number and hiked on down the trail.

The team also sent a male student with the same instructions. Not surprisingly, he was repeatedly turned down and many men wouldn’t even fill out the survey. Over the following few days, there were only 3 curious hikers who called him up. The female student received many calls.

Now here’s the interesting part. Of the 16 men who crossed the small wooden secure bridge, only 2 called her. However, half of the 18 men who crossed the suspension bridge called.

Hmm. . . now what made the difference? Most likely, the feelings which developed during the rope bridge crossing affected their perceptions of her. Their heightened anxiety/adrenaline simulated the same sort of feelings that you get when you have a crush. Their emotional state impacted their decisions and their perceptions. She represented the safety and security they needed as she greeted them on solid ground. For the men on the other bridge, well. . .they didn’t have the same needs/emotions.

Emotions Matter. When you’ve got to make an important decision. Make it at a wise time. Don’t make big decisions right after periods of heightened anxiety or adrenaline.