Kasen has started crawling. He’s coming up on his 7th month and now he’s definitely got it down. He’s been trying for a while, but now he’s figured it all out. Now we’ve gotta go through the house and kid-proof everything. Buy those little guards for the electrical outlets. Move little choke-able objects up higher. Put up a gate so he can’t get into the other room. And the list goes on and on. . .(but it’s all worth it! Being a dad is amazing!!)
King of the Hill & Dad
Miranda, Kasen, and I went camping this past weekend with my family. All the Corns and Underwoods met together at Possum Kingdom Lake. It was great! Here’s a link for some of the pics. Memorial Day Pics. The downside is that a bunch of the pics aren’t here ’cause the camera flew into the lake. The little tether cord broke and . . .well, it went into the lake.
Anyway, one of the moments that stuck out to me happened while we were on the lake after the camera went overboard. My brother bought a tube to pull behind the boat that was over 8 feet in diameter. It was huge. Anyway, at one point the kids just wanted to let it float in the middle of the lake and play King of the Hill. It was like having our own little American-Gladiators-style sumo-wrestling match. When all his kids were on the tube, Roger, (my brother) dove off the boat right into the middle of them. Instead of being the parent who forbid his kids to wrestle, he jumped into the middle of it and played right alongside them. In that moment, I saw my brother transform into the image of my dad 25 years earlier, and I dreamed of the day that I’d do that same sort of thing with Kasen. It was a beautiful moment.
By the way, I also saw my brother-in-law, Schonn, bantering back and forth with the kids – threatening to make them fall off the tube just like my dad would have done too. It was great fun!
My dad has been dead for years, but he went with us to Possum Kingdom Lake this past weekend. My dad is alive and well inside each of us. I could almost hear his voice as we sat around in our chairs under the clear night sky. I saw him on the lake and in the boat.
I love you dad. Thanks for playing such a big role in our lives – even now. You have certainly left a legacy to be proud of.
More of a Man
I just wanted to post the lyrics to this song ’cause I can totally relate. I could have practically written this song. Anyway, it’s really good.
More of a Man – Andy Gullahorn
I took my grandad’s twenty-two
when I was in the second grade
I shot a deer right in the heart
rubbed his blood upon my face
The summer when I turned sixteen
I got up each day before the dawn
I was building barns and bailing hay
Worked harder than the day was long
Now I’m thirty and I have three kids
I watched dora the explorer in the morning
I feel a sad truth sinkin in
maybe I was more of a man back then
used to be that my daily fair
chicken fried steak and bar-b-que
I had Dr pepper at every meal
ice cream when the day was through
now I’m watchin my cholesterol
my metabolism is slowing
tonight its salad once again
surely I was more of a man back then
I used to watch Jean Claude Van Dam
killin guys on the silver screen
now every night with the kids in bed
we watch gilmore girls on DVD
surely I was more. . .
So I suck in my protruding gut
on our monthly dinner night
You’re sayin’ somethin’ about the kids
as I watch these young men pass me by
I remember, I was just like them
I was lonely but I called it independent
and if lonesome is what manly is
baby, I was more of a man back then
I’m so glad that my life has changed. It’s so much better (beyond description) with Miranda and Kasen. I must admit however that there are times when I feel this same sort of sense of my masculinity being somehow stripped away. Whenever those thoughts creep up on me, I look for ways to make me feel more like a man. There isn’t much that a good chicken fried steak and big glass of Dr. Pepper can’t mend!
Bikers
Miranda and I have become bikers. Miranda wanted an old-school big-seat beach-type bike for Mother’s Day so she went ahead and got me one for my upcoming Father’s Day too. We also got a little seat for Kasen and we’ve been having tons of fun driving him around. The helmet doesn’t fit too well, but he still smiles and laughs while he watches mommy riding beside us.
It’s probably a sign that I’m getting old when I prefer a “big seat” bike with no hand brakes. Oh well. . .
70s Night
Just thought I’d share a few pics of our family from 70s Night at the skating rink last night.
Kasen doesn’t quite know what to think. “It sounds like daddy, but it doesn’t look like him.”
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Cathedral
This weekend, I experienced the sacred mystery of an amazing cathedral. Entering, I was first struck by the arches of east Texas pine stretching to a ceiling of endless blue. An easiness washed over over me and the world’s worries disappeared as I became overwhelmed by a sense of peace. We rested on old rocking chairs at a humble altar of two by four decking where we offered up our most lofty dreams and concerns communing with each other and the Creator. We laughed around a table sharing something more than our lives – truly sharing the present moment. It’s a sacred place – a holy place – where God engages us and helps us to think bigger stretching our hearts beyond the corners of our present state. It’s truly a joy to be in this place – an experience that I’ll never forget, and yet it’s also one which is not alone – I have come to expect and long for these experiences.
Thank you Godbolds! I truly consider our times with you in Livingston sacred.
Here’s a few pics of Kasen’s second trip.
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The Hangout House
Recently, Miranda and I watched a TV show (Still Standing) where parents were competing to have the house where all the kids hung out. It became a contest to see who could buy the bigger and better toys. Pretty funny.
Miranda and I have always said that we wanted our house to be the “Hangout House.” We pray that our home will be a place where kids feel comfortable. A place where they want to be. We pray that they feel welcome and a sense of the peace and joy that we take in each other.
Growing up, our house was that way. Mom and dad made sure that we had lots of fun toys (pool table, trampoline, motorcycle, above ground swimming pool, etc.) so our friends wanted to come to our house, but ultimately, it was the way they were treated by my parents that brought them back. It was the love in our home that made them continue to show up. As a matter of fact, there’s a part of me that thinks they our house would’ve been the Hangout House even if we hadn’t had any of those big toys. My parents worked to create a home where we could express ourselves and play freely. My parents wouldn’t have encouraged all of our activities, but they did let us push the envelope a bit.
By the way, boys need adventure and risk as a part of their play. They don’t day dream and imagine secure safe homes with dolls like girls do, but instead they dream of fighting epic battles and winning the beauty against the greatest of odds. Risk and adventure should be not only allowed but even encouraged in their play so they can become the men of God our world so desperately needs.
Anyway, in our house growing up, we laughed a lot and we played hard. We pulled sleds with four-wheelers, and built skate ramps and stereo boxes. We jumped from the roof of the house to the trampoline and from the trampoline to the pool. (One time our friend Paul ended up with his head in the pool, his feet between the trampoline springs, and his chest imprint on the metal wall of the pool.) We also used to put soap on the trampoline and throw balls at the people jumping. Our driveway became a basketball court almost every Sunday afternoon. We made strange videos and built jumps for our bikes. We had an annual epic water balloon war on Halloween. Now, I wouldn’t say that all of these things were safe, but they were all really fun! The way we played was an expression of who we were.
As a parent, I want to know my kid’s friends. I want them to know me too. I hope we’re able to spend time together so we can begin to influence each other and the best way for that to happen is for my house to be full of love and joy and laughter and playfulness.
Since I’m just a big kid myself. I’m excited about the years ahead. Maybe daddy will get some toys too.
Check out these Scriptures too: Deut 6:6-9; Prov 17:1; 21:9; 24:3; 1 Tim 1:6; 2 Cor 2:14-16
Mother’s Day
Miranda is an amazing mom (not to mention how amazing she is at being a wife). Having Kasen, was like uncovering what she was created to do.
I sat next to her the other night on the couch as we listened to Kasen crying in his crib. We were attempting the let him “cry it out” which is a method for teaching children how to sleep through the night. It’s a tough thing to do. You basically just let them cry until they realize that they’ve gotta go to sleep on their own. Anyway, Miranda was in tears. It took everything she had to force herself to stay in the living room with me. As she cried, it was hard to understand her words through the tears, but she mumbled “I’m his mother. I’m supposed to love and care for him.” I tried to comfort her saying that she was loving and caring for him by helping him learn how to go to sleep on his own. I’m not sure my words were very comforting, but I think it’s true. This is probably just the first of many times where our love for him will put us in a position where we’ll have to act against our own desires. Ultimately, Miranda held off and after the second night, Kasen slept through the night completely by himself. He’s now made it three nights that way. It’s a pretty amazing thing. Miranda and I both know it’s a good thing, but I feel pretty confident that when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she wants to check in on him – you know, to make sure he’s still breathing and is okay. How do I know that? ‘Cause that’s exactly what I wanna do, and I know she’s a much better parent than I could ever dream of being.
As a single youth minister, that whole “tough love” thing sounded a much easier than what we experienced together the other night. This is probably only the beginning though. Anyway, all this is to say that we’re both realizing that parenting is tough, but I can see clearly that Miranda is tougher. God has truly blessed us by giving her to Kasen and I. Voddie Bachaum defines love as “an act of the will accompanied by
emotion on behalf of it’s recipient.” That’s exactly what she did the
other night. She chose to do what was best for him in spite of her
emotions. Kasen will grow up knowing that he is loved beyond measure, and he’ll also be shown a beautiful example in his mother. She loves with all she has, and will sacrifice her own desires to do what’s best for him. Even when it hurts her, she will choose to love him.
Leadership Quotes
I was reading about leadership on-line the other day
and found these quotes. I just thought I’d share them ’cause they’re good. I
especially love the second one from Ralph Waldo Emerson. Something about that
one just rings true in my heart. There’s this sort of resounding
“Yes!” that just wants to rise up out of me when I hear it.
“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, not so good when
people obey and acclaim him, worst when they despise him. But of a good leader,
who talks little, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say, ‘We
did this ourselves.'”
— Lao-Tse
“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.”
— Ralph
Waldo Emerson
“If
the blind lead the blind, both shall fall in the ditch.”
— Jesus Christ
“Dictators ride
to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting
hungry.”
— Winston Churchill
“The task of
the leader is to get his people from where they are to where they have not
been.”
— Henry Kissinger
“The task of
leadership is not to put greatness into people, but to elicit it, for the greatness
is there already.”
— John Buchan
“Great leaders
are almost always great simplifiers, who can cut through argument, debate, and
doubt to offer a solution everybody can understand.”
— General Colin Powell
“Men make
history and not the other way around. In periods where there is no leadership,
society stands still. Progress occurs when courageous, skillful leaders seize
the opportunity to change things for the better.”
— Harry Truman
“A leader is one
who influences a specific group of people to move in a God-given
direction.”
— J. Robert Clinton
“All Leadership
is influence.”
— John C. Maxwell
Injoy, Inc.
“You cannot be a
leader, and ask other people to follow you, unless you know how to follow,
too.”
— Sam Rayburn
“Your position
never gives you the right to command. It only imposes on you the duty of so
living your life that others may receive your orders without being
humiliated.”
— Dag Hammarskjöld
“The final test
of a leader is that he leaves behind him in other men, the conviction and the
will to carry on.”
— Walter Lippmann
“People ask the
difference between a leader and a boss. The leader leads, and the boss
drives.”
— Theodore Roosevelt
“The first
responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you.
In between, the leader is a servant.”
— Max DePree
“Management is
efficiency in climbing the ladder of success; leadership determines whether the
ladder is leaning against the right wall.”
— Stephen R. Covey
“He who has
great power should use it lightly.”
— Seneca
“As a leader,
you’re probably not doing a good job unless your employees can do a good
impression of you when you’re not around.”
— Patrick Lencioni
“The older I get
the less I listen to what people say and the more I look at what they do.”
— Andrew Carnegie
“I think leadership
comes from integrity – that you do whatever you ask others to do. I think there
are non-obvious ways to lead. Just by providing a good example as a parent, a
friend, a neighbor makes it possible for other people to see better ways to do
things. Leadership does not need to be a dramatic, fist in the air and trumpets
blaring, activity.”
— Scott Berkun
“Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you
become a leader, success is all about growing others.” — Jack
Welch
Baby Making
I listened to a sermon by Voddie Bachaum the other day and was struck by something he said. He explained that 75%-88% of American so-called Christian teenagers abandon their faith by the time they finish their first year of college. The average Christian parents in America have 2 children. This means that it takes 4 Christian adults to bring one successfully into the next generation. Which also means that (subtracting new conversions) Christianity is declining at a rate of 75%-88% in only one generation. Voddie continued his argument saying that Germany is already being called a Muslim nation by the Muslims because by birthrates alone it will be a Muslim country in just a few years. Evidently, the Muslim faith is doing much better than American Christianity in regards to how many children are being born and how many are adopting the faith of their parents.
Voddie, also reminded me of the Scriptures which describe children as a blessing and as arrows in a man’s quiver. It is through his children that a man can have the most impact on the world. Yet, most Christians believe that having 2 and at the most 3 children is plenty. The excuses they raise have to do with finances and the size of their houses and yet just a generation ago, our grandparents raised many more children in homes that most of us would consider too meager today.
Is it Biblical to choose material things over children? What would a family be like if they had to share more things in the home? Would our marriages be stronger if we made more babies? Would a more demanding home life provide the accountability and challenge that a father really needs to be the spiritual leader of his home? Could it be true that if we raised large families, they might be more healthy? What if we saw children as a blessing instead of a nuisance that has to be endured for 18 years? Would we have more children? Would Christianity look differently? When did the “perfect family” become the “perfect little family?” Could the church be revived if men and women went forth and multiplied? Leonard Sweet says that every cell in the human body recreates itself every 7 years and that when it stops recreating, it begins dying. What if the same is true of the Body of Christ? What if we were baby makers? Just some ideas I had after listening to Voddie. What do you think?